SNIPPETS

FEBRUARY 12,  2010

TALLAHASSEE, Fla., Feb. 11 (UPI) -- A "food loaf," designed to provide nutrition for prisoners while punishing them, got poor reviews during a tasting at a Florida legislative hearing.

I would imagine so, although the ACLU will undoubtedly call this cruel and unusual punishment.

FEBRUARY 11,  2010

From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:  Lilburn Police are investigating what may have caused a man to walk into a Walmart and destroy 29 flat-screen televisions.  Just after noon Wednesday, Westley Strellis, 23, of Lawrenceville, walked into the Walmart on Lawrenceville Highway in Lilburn.  After grabbing a metal baseball bat from the sporting goods section, he walked to the electronics department and destroyed the TVs on display.

I bet they were all tuned to MSNBC. 

FEBRUARY 10,  2010

MALMO, Sweden, Feb. 9 (UPI) -- The Swedish tax agency has been ordered to pay damages to a 79-year-old woman who was mistakenly classified as dead.

Under that logic, Harry Reid should be paid millions.

FEBRUARY 9,  2010

From the New York Post:   Columbia University's public safety department is warning students about coyotes on the campus, MyFox NY reported Monday.  There were reports of coyotes on the Morningside Campus in Manhattan's Morningside Heights section.  Three coyotes were seen in front of Lewisohn Hall on Sunday morning.

Wrong.  They're not coyotes.  They're conservatives in disguise.  In the Ivy League, conservatives just appear to be coyotes.

FEBRUARY 8,  2010

PORT BLAIR, India (Reuters) - One of the world's oldest dialects, which traces its origins to tens of thousands of years ago, has become extinct after the last person to speak it died on a remote Indian island.  Boa Sr, the 85-year-old last speaker of "Bo," was the oldest member of the Great Andamanese tribe, R.C. Kar, deputy director of Tribal Health in Andaman, told Reuters on Friday.

Minor story.  English became extinct in our high schools decades ago. 

FEBRUARY 7,  2010

SPRINGFIELD, Mass., Feb. 5 (UPI) -- Massachusetts police said a shoplifting suspect could not fit into the back of a police cruiser due to 75 bottles of lotion shoved down his pants.  Sgt. John M. Delaney, aide to Springfield Police Commissioner William Fitchet, said Eastfield Mall security guards quickly chased down and detained Chamil Guadarrama after he was spotted allegedly taking items Wednesday from Bath & Body Works, The (Springfield) Republican reported Friday.

But the lotion didn't go off.  The system worked!